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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26079613">All Similarities Are Coincidental</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkyIsSnarky/pseuds/SharkyIsSnarky'>SharkyIsSnarky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Family, Fix-It, Gen, Multi, Snippets, Time to fuck over Watto o'clock, the ol' switcheroo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:49:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26079613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkyIsSnarky/pseuds/SharkyIsSnarky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>All it takes is one tiny change and suddenly your dream sith empire is ripped away, history books mock you, and they made a movie that twists the knife way deeper.</p><p>A Star Wars fix-it gone off the rails! This is an anthology of short stories and snippets in a shared universe where Palpatine got dunked on by Dooku in 53 BBY, Darth Maul became Dork Maul: Prankmaster Jedi Supreme at a very young age, and some idiot eventually made an alternate history film that Anakin regrets ever letting his grandson see.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Damn History Nerds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>-reformation was long and bitter, but ultimately successful. With the new Jedi codes in place power was split to many temples across the galactic alliance. The most striking change was that members of the order were allowed to form attachments outside of their ranks. Political changes, brought by the exposure of corrupt officials reaching in to militarize the order, lead to several arrests and even the unveiling of Senator Sheev Palpatine as a fanatic, calling himself a Sith Lord. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dooku, in his efforts to reform the Jedi was injured, and shortly thereafter elected to retire to his home system. In the thirty years since the reform-</span>
  </em>
  <span>" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young being blinked wide eyes. There was more on the page to read sure but a <em>Sith Lord</em>? They shuddered at the idea of him escaping notice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he had then… </span>
  <em>
    <span>huh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sat up to look out the window as scenarios ran through their head. This was a required course at Coruscant University, and mostly tedious for someone who just was there to make vids and stories, but… this had potential. They grabbed a pad. It might be years until they had the creative freedom to make a film like that but that didn't mean it couldn't be planned at least. A world where an evil jedi was in power? What would that look like?</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Thirty years after that fateful thought from a being he had never met: Anakin Skywalker, retired Jedi Knight, part-time mechanic, and full time house spouse, looked up at the marquee above the theatre. The name of the movie was so pretentious. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Star Wars?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ben, buddy, are you sure we have to-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Grampa we gotta it's based on Uncle Luke!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wouldn't you want to see it with him?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No!" The six year old yelped, eyes wide and watering. "No! Grampa is my favorite!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kriff." Anakin mumbled under his breath with an indulgent smile. It was Leia's big brown eyes all over again. "Okay Ben, you win. Let's go see </span>
  <em>
    <span>Star Fight."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, 's </span>
  <em>
    <span>Star Wars!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Whatever it is I hope they have choco cricket crumbs."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Gross." Ben declared as he dragged the heavy theatre door open.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Inseperable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Maul and Obi-Wan grow up together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Obi-Wan Kenobi, in hindsight, thought it was probably a great deal his fault that things had ended up as they did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Young ones," Master Loria said to the creche, "this is Maul. He will be joining us. Please be kind and patient."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes Master," the flock of children chorused as the tiny Zabrak boy continued hiding behind another Jedi. Obi-Wan was one of the oldest, he had turned six last month, so he took it upon himself to grab Quinlan and walk up to the boy first. "My name is Obi-Wan. We're playing Lothcat and you can play too." His eyes were wide and brown when he tugged on the master's leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Master Mundi?" The cerean leaned down, face utterly serious as he listened. In the smallest voice the boy asked him one question. "What's a lothcat?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day was spent with Obi-Wan, as the only one who could spell at all, at a terminal looking up lothcats for the three year old in his lap. He hadn't expected it to set a pattern for the rest of his life.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Obi, do people from before ever come to see you?" He asked a week later, toddling over to Obi-Wan's bed after a nightmare. Maul seemed like he had a lot of those, and not the normal ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not really. Do you want to see someone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanna see Master Mundi."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maul he's got Jedi master stuff to do. But you can draw him a picture when you miss him." Obi-Wan yawned and curled up so Maul had room to crawl in next to him. "Go to bed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kay," he said, dutifully pressing into the crook of the older boy's arm as he tugged the blanket over them both. "G'night Obi."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Goodnight Maul."</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Obi, what's a wedding?" Maul asked when they heard some of the grown up Jedi whispering about one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dunno. I think it's like two people who want to be together forever?" Obi-Wan shrugged as he bit into his breakfast. Maul was four by then and had stopped going so quiet when droids were around. He still stuck to Obi-Wan like a barnacle, even when Obi-Wan went to the more advanced classes Maul would escape the creche and always end up with his ear pressed against the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They made it sound like it was against the rules." Maul kicked his feet, whacking Obi-Wan in the shin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dunno, when I was really little apparently a lot of Jedi rules changed. Maybe they're confused." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Grown ups are weird." Maul decreed before taking a big sip of his juice, only spilling a bit.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Obi, how do you stay awake for meditation?" Maul groaned as he splayed across the bed Obi-Wan had claimed in the clan quarters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe if you weren't trying to sneak into the sparring class you could meditate better."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But all my classes are baby classes," the Zabrak whined. Maul was still in the creche at age six and would not admit it. He and Siri were always sneaking off, causing trouble. It was a rare week someone wasn't getting water sprayed on them or the salt and the sweetener in the mess hall didn't have someone switch the labels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan was ten years old, had just learned the word "asshole" from a knight who was in an argument, and immediately understood who it applied to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Baby classes are for babies, like you." Maul threw his pillow at him.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Obi-Wan were you even going to say goodbye?" Maul asked, jaw jutting like a knife. He stared down Obi-Wan and his rucksack. "You're going out to hunt a megalomaniac with your master and I want my congratulations for surviving </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>master's lecture on when not to fight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Xanatos is more than that." Obi-Wan hissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, and that's why I'm here." Maul gave him a light punch to the shoulder, wiser than any ten year old who put sticks in people's boots had any right to be. "I've been there, the angry place where you have one option total? I'm still there sometimes. So when you kick this bastard's ass remember it's okay to be angry, to feel it, but you have to let it go so it doesn't dig too far in." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan looked away, not wanting to admit he didn't know if he could. "And if you can't let it go on your own then you come back so me and Siri and Quinlan can help you get your head back on straight."</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Obi-Wan, know what I did?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You actually did it." Maul grinned, preening like a peacock. The sixteen year old had gotten facial tattoos. The thin lines looked like black wings spreading over his red brow and down his temples and cheeks. They weren't the traditional tattoos someone would see on a Zabrak past their rite, but they fit him. Obi-Wan was freshly returned from a trip with Qui-gon and it was like getting hit by a truck, Maul was growing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not the only thing I did. I have brothers! I didn't know I had brothers but I do! I just found them by accident!" The world tilted a bit. Oh no, one Maul was enough. "You know how Master Mundi and I had that stopover in Naboo so he could meditate a trade deal for their Queen? I was-" and Maul suddenly stopped in that way Obi-Wan had long ago learned was a sign Maul had barely avoided implicating himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maul what the hell did you do?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was innocent of the whole affair. Nothing happened. It was only a little blood loss." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maul!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kriff! Alright so I may have been shopping for souvenirs and the dock collapsed. This big fish thing bit me, I got a huge mouthful of what turned out to be grain alcohol that leaked from a nearby stall, and Opress got contacted as a blood donor. Next thing we know we're finding out we're half brothers and Feral is running in!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-" Obi-Wan had so many questions. How? Why? You aren't from Naboo though? You have two brothers? Are they older? Younger? How much of that story was actually far more serious and dangerous than you made it sound? None of his questions were worth it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan just gave Maul a pat on the shoulder and said "only you."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Accident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The side of the story for how Feral and Opress ended up in the picture.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was churned out in 30 minutes at 3am lemme alone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Naboo had been an accident, but the best accident ever. Feral and Opress remembered very little of the raid by the man in robes. They just remembered their home ablaze because one of their brothers had escaped and their mother had failed to replace him in a timely manner. It burned in their heads like the flammable lichen nearby burned their whole world. One of them escaped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone grabbed them, a male. Feral liked to daydream that it had been one of their fathers who shoved them into the tiny ship with coordinates preprogrammed in. Opress rolled his eyes even almost a decade later at the idea. They didn't remember how long it took of the ship rattling and screaming out into the stars before they landed. They had been so exhausted and hungry that both boys had slept through the touchdown. It had to have been a few days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first thing Feral remembered seeing was </span>
  <em>
    <span>blue.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He didn't recognize it as sky originally, but it was beautiful. The next thing he saw was a person trying to force the cockpit open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was blurry after that, but he remembered the sun in his eyes and crisp fruit to eat as Opress talked to adults. A soft bed, and a name for this planet came later. Feral could remember clumsily sounding it out as Opress tried to sleep. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Na-boo, Nab-ooooo. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Opress never told him but he was sure it was scary, that nothing was certain for them and poor Opress had been stuck with a toddler to care for in the middle of that fear. But it worked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yonathan took them, the old warden for the remote natural park they had landed in. Yonathan gave them a roof and the stars, warm clothes and cool drinks. After a few years Feral didn't remember much of Dathomir if he was honest. He just knew the kindly old human who taught them to read and identify plants, who had given Opress a whole safe world to run through and Feral countless books to fill with art.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the while as they slept in the spare room that was becoming theirs they whispered that now they had escaped too, even by accident. As years passed it was said less, but it was still true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Accidents were a funny thing, but so was fate. When he was fourteen Opress, newly eighteen years old, got a call during breakfast as he and Yonathan were preparing for another day maintaining trails and reporting on animal migration patterns. Feral did not have school that day and planned to follow after with his sketchpad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kriff. Old man, I need to go." Opress said as he slipped on a jacket. "Another Zabrak needs a blood donor."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I come?" Opress looked at his baby brother, all of fourteen, and looked at Yonathan for guidance. Yonathan was smiling like there was some new joke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Opress, it's your call."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise I'll stay quiet and just draw people, nobody will notice me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine, come on we gotta go." Opress said brusquely as he strode out the door. Feral waved goodbye as he threw himself behind his brother on the speeder. As they pulled away he could hear Yonathan laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feral didn't remember a lot of things, but he did remember the message to leave the park near the hospital and come to room 263. He remembered seeing those wide eyes and bright grin from a new face in his life. The boy he would come to know as Maul was ecstatic to see him and Opress looked floored. A ceurean in the corner was hiding a soft and genuine smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Brothers. All three of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naboo was an accident, but after so long Feral liked to think that just maybe it was a bit of fate too.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Homeward bound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Obi-Wan is changed by having one extra friend growing up, and when he realizes that Shmi Skywalker is still on Tattooine he fuckin DOES something.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When he looked at that tiny boy who kicked his heels in the chair, anxiety rolling off him under that bravado and bravery, Obi-wan remembered how hard it had been for Maul in those first early days in the temple. The sith had him for a little more than a year, but he had been so hurt that it echoed long and loud in his friend’s life. Sometimes Maul still got angry or frightened over things he barely remembered. He remembered how happy Maul had been to get some form of closure when he met his brothers.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Wait here Anakin.” He said, glancing to make sure that Master Qui-gon was nearby before heading back out of the ship to the speeder bike. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Obi-wan, where are you going?” Obi-Wan’s long and poorly advised friendship with Siri made it so he did not jump, but it was a close thing. He hadn’t been thinking about much other than pulling up navigational history and missed the young Queen Amidala sitting outside entirely.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I need to do something before we go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What could be so important?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Give me an hour, don’t let Master leave without me if the drive is installed before then!” and with that he went screaming off into the sands back towards Mos Espa. </span>
  <span>He felt her before ever seeing Shmi’s home. The woman’s sorrow was soft, not angry, and his heart broke a bit. He knocked as quickly as he got on the ground, perhaps louder than needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Miss Skywalker!” he heard a clatter and was greeted by a kind looking woman, who was wiping tears away as best she could. Obi-wan didn’t even give her a chance to speak. “Give us one year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Who are you?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Master Qui-Gon’s oldest apprentice. Obi-Wan Kenobi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- Master jedi, I don’t-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“In one year we’ll be back for you.” Obi-wan reached out and grabbed her hand. Shmi was wild eyed and he had to sympathise. She obviously hadn’t let herself hope to see Anakin again. It sounded outlandish, like a dream, and if she trusted him and failed it might just break her. “Let me do this for Anakin. I remember how happy my friend, my best friend, was when he knew he had family, that they were safe. I couldn’t help find them for him, but I can help you and your son.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I will do whatever I must. Please, Miss Skywalker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She broke into a glorious smile at that. He wondered if his own mother ever smiled at him that way, like he was giving her a gift. He didn’t remember, but Anakin would. She steeled herself, eyes still wild, but he could feel the hope in her, blossoming bright and beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be waiting, Master Jedi.”</span><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
<span>A year later dawned and Shmi was nervous. Watto had been harsher on her since losing Ani. The work was hard and the days were long. After all this time, the year was up. She desperately prayed that her hope and trust hadn’t been misplaced. </span>
  <span>The morning passed. Watto had been leaving her alone most of the day, which was good because her anxiety was consuming her by the time someone entered the shop. She took this chance to deliver the parts she had repaired to Watto in the front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Kenobi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A Zabrak stood there, somewhat shorter than the standard, but still imposing. A pair of repair droids hovered behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not taking credits. I want a droid for a droid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ehh, come now sir, republic credits are perfectly valuable!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I hardly need credits, I need a droid to care for my child.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“But sir, you can obviously buy one </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>credits.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In Mos Espa? Porg shit." Shmi tried to back out of the room, but the Zabrak spotted her. “You there, do you have any caretaker droids?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-no sir.” He glowered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>have any experience with children?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Watto, smelling a deal, buzzed into the air, sly as could be. “Shmi is fantastic with children! Ehh she even had one of her own!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Really now?” Shmi felt her world falling apart at that, and hardly noticed when the Zabrak stepped forward to inspect her like a cut of meat. The hope in her chest wilted, like ice under the sun. She was so distraught that she almost missed it.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The Zabrak shifted his cloak and a lightsaber was visible for a moment, one that had the same golden hue as Threepio's photoreceptors in the details. He had a krayt dragon embossed on his lightsaber. His grimace vanished just long enough for a sly wink at her, mischief writ large on his face before the glower returned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well Toydarian. We can discuss a deal.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It was like a dream. Shmi found herself and Threepio bundled into a dingy old speeder with what little she owned. As they left the city she had known as her home since Anakin was born Shmi wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. She turned to the Zabrak who had overseen it all, and finally as the city faded into heat mirage in the distance the glare vanished and he let out a whoop.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Kriff! That was the worst!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I thought it was the best thing that ever happened to me.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“That,” he said as they pulled up to a far finer ship than the speeder could match, “Is fair. I think Anakin not asking me ‘has it been a year yet?’ will be the best thing that has ever happened to me.” He hopped out and immediately took one of the two satchels Shmi had brought before hefting Threepio over his shoulder in a feat of absurd strength. “By the way I’m Maul, Obi-wan thought I would have an easier time since I apparently look suspicious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had quite an impressive glare.” Shmi offered. Maul grinned and the ship’s bay door descended.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>“Well thank you, madam. Now I think it’s high time I hand you off to-”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Mom!”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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